New Season

I've entered a new season, one I've waited for all my life, it seems.  The full-time paid job has ended and I'm slowly acclimatising to retirement.  As a lay pastor in my church and a volunteer hospital chaplain, I will have busy days, but not so much ruled by the clock.  Because I am sometimes a 'driven-by-guilt' personality, it's hard for me to adapt to leisure, although I have plenty to do.

This morning I have been looking through some writing I did in the past years, from a book of writing prompts, and I have been encouraged to plan some time into my 'free' days to begin the writing I've always wanted to do seriously.  I need to start somewhere, so here is something I wrote early in 2011, when I last considered my vocation.

"What kind of writer do I want to be?  I want to be the writer that makes people laugh - and cry.  I want to be the writer that makes people forget themselves until they are part of the story.  I want to be the writer who people remember, whose books they want to - have to! - re-read, again and again.  I want to be the writer that people say about, 'Hasn't her next book been published yet?  How much longer do we have to wait for it?'  I want to be the writer whose books people queue up for from midnight to be the first to buy when they are published.



Why do I want to be this kind of writer?  Because I long for people to feel passion, to be moved, to be inspired, to resolve to do or be something they've always wanted to be, but never thought they could - until they read what I wrote.  I don't particularly want to be famous - I want to be appreciated for helping someone else the way I have been encouraged and stirred and impassioned by certain writers.  I desire that what I write should make a difference to people, to the world as a whole, and to the Kingdom of God.

My aim is to be the kind of writer whose words point people to the love of God, not only for the characters in my books, but for each reader.  I long for them to hear His voice, recognise their own longing in what they hear, and then believe in the Person of the Voice and long to get to know Him more.  And because of their discovered passion, they too will want to make a difference in their world.  In that way, I want what I write to bring glory to God, Who inspires me, Who gifted me and Who forgives my mistakes and picks me up to begin again.  He is the One Who cheers me on when it's tough going, and Who says, 'Well done!', when someone's heart is touched and changed because of His inspiration of the words He gives me to write.

Can I become a writer like that?  Only as I submit my mind, my body, my soul, my spirit and my pen to the Author, Who knows my story inside out, from beginning to end."

Every day it seems that my eyes are drawn to the skies.  Maybe it's the dramatic sunrise or sunset - usually pink - clouds, but I've seen some spectular sights in the heavens.  One evening I happened to be driving home before the sun had fully set, so its orange and pink leftover rays were lighting up a cloud on the western horizon that looked remarkably like an angel hurrying along, clearly set on his mission.  Well, having an active imagination is surely part of a writer's soul? 

Another thing that has also prompted this 'looking up' is that several times I have read or heard about the Israelites as they travelled through the wilderness on their way to the Promised Land.  I've always thought of them as 'wandering' about the desert for 40 years, more or less trailing aimlessly, marking time until those who had refused to go into the land had died.  However, the things I've read and the people I've heard have mentioned that the people followed the Lord in the cloud by day and the pillar of fire by night.  When the cloud moved, they moved; when the cloud stopped, they stopped.  I knew this, but for some reason the reality hadn't reached me with such impact before.

So, I've started thinking about this cloud pillar of the Lord, which was not only a guide, but a protection and a source of light in the darkness.  There may have been no 'satnav' voice telling them when and where to turn (or turn around), but they followed the Lord's Presence.  That's all they had to do, and they found that difficult.  If the cloud moved, it must have taken a while to pack up their tents, gather their families and flocks, and get the 12 tribes moving.  They may not have known when or where their next move would take them, but they simply followed the cloud.

Is it that simple for me?  No!  I'd often like a signwriter in the sky or a hand appearing spelling out my next step on the wall in front of me, but that's not happened yet.  Jesus said, "When these things begin to happen, look up, for your redemptions draws near."  When what things happen?  The signs of the world around us will point to His second coming.  We all are noticing these things more lately, but am I looking at the skies rather than looking for His Presence?  There were surely lots of clouds in the skies above the desert, but the Israelites only had eyes for THE cloud.

I need to look up - but into His eyes, into the constant awareness of Him being with me, leading me, guiding me.  I need to go when He goes and stop when He stops.  I need to hear His heartbeat.  I'll still look up at the beauty of the skies, but while I do I'll also be listening.  He is ready and waiting for His people to trust His leading and follow.  We won't be simply wandering, but we will be moving and stopping, intent on the purpose He has for us to fulfil.

Joy!  

This is where my blog ended last time, with joy!, joy!, joy!  It seems that this is becoming a more normal part of my life lately.  I've more often than not been a glass half-empty type of personality.  Something has happened in my spirit that has changed me from the inside out.  It's been a long process.  I know some people change overnight, no matter how gigantic the transformation has been, and I praise God for those lives that give witness to the world how miraculous our God is.  For it's not only the stupendous physical healings and spiritual rebirths that change people, but also the quieter and in some ways deeper miracles of changed minds and personalities.

Although I know God has been working in me all my life, I think this change began in me when I found the writings of Ann Voskamp and in particular her 'Joy Dare'.  Since the beginning of January, I have been encouraged to write down 3 things each day for which I am thankful, totalling 1,000 gifts for the whole year.  When 2012 began, I was working in a temporary part-time job after being unemployed for 7 months, living in my daughter and son-in-law's home, with most of my life seeming to be waiting along with my physical 'stuff' languishing in expensive storage.  Applications, travelling hundreds of miles to interviews, praying, being prayed for, all drew blanks.  Heaven was silent.  But during this time, God taught me to be thankful for the simple things, the good things and the hard things.  He began to change my heart and my mind and my attitude.  This was the greatest miracle of all!

So, as I was driving to the job God has wonderfully provided for me, and where I love to go every day, one beautiful morning this past week, the sun was gently shooting its rising rays into a shimmering blue sky from behind clouds so delicately pink, my heart was fairly bursting with JOY!  Worshiping the God Who heals and saves and transforms, and who creates such beauty is my first automatic reaction now.  I know hard times are not over, but He has put me exactly where He wants me for now, and I know without a doubt that He holds my hand and fills me with His Spirit daily, hourly, minute by minute.

 

 

 

 

This morning my wonderful pastor brought us a message about getting rid of the slavery mentality that the Israelites had when God said it was time to go in and take possession of the Promised Land.  Caleb and Joshua were ready, but the other 10 spies convinced the people that they could not do it, despite God's promises that the land was theirs.  They would not trust God and His Word enough to step out in faith and take their inheritance in Him.  The mists of the past were still clouding their minds, choking any possibilities of positive thoughts getting through.  Those pink clouds and blue morning skies this past week were only part of the beauty of the morning as the mists curled gently through the fields.  It occurs to me now that if I were to keep looking down at the mists, I would miss the beauty of the sun breaking through the clouds and bringing the light of thanksgiving and worship into my life and my world.  Our pastor encouraged us to believe God, accept His power to break us out of the chains which held us in that slavery mentality, to trust Him and step out in faith into what He has planned for us to do for His Kingdom.  If only the Israelites could have believed God and moved out into His promises for them, they might have experienced what I am just beginning to learn now: God takes us one step at a time, and He prepares the way before we take the second step.  In the words of Mark Hall of Casting Crowns, "When I'm lost in the mystery, to You my future is a memory, 'cause You're already there!"

Thank You, Lord, that You have such an amazing journey planned for us, and all we have to do is trust You one step at a time, and thank You for each moment of the life You give.  For You are worthy of all the praise and all the glory.  Fill us daily with Your Spirit as we continually rejoice in You!!!

 

 

 

I have just spent the most amazing day - at work!  In fact, most of my days at work are amazing, because God is in that place.  Yes, God is everywhere, but because the place I work is a Christian charity, the Presence of God seems to be much more accessible, since He is present in every person in that place.  However, we weren't 'at work' today, but on a staff away day, with worship, prayer, ministry by the Holy Spirit and such inspiration and enlightment that my soul is fairly bursting with the love of God!

We were all being encouraged to seek after God, to live relationally with Him, in order to work with Him and be ready to be used in the revival that is surely even now beginning.  We heard testimonies of people who were really truly living this way, and it was costly for them.  But the rewards of seeing lives changed, of seeing the light of God shining out of them into the dark places of the world, was worth the cost. 

I want to live that way!  But the thing I came away with at the end, was a word given by one of our staff during our final prayer time.  We were all seated in a ballroom, but the wooden floor was covered by a carpet.  He could see one section of the floor, and as he looked at it, God said to him that, like the floor which was made for dancing, we were covered up by things which hid our real selves.  He believed God was saying that we needed to led God reveal to us what He had created us to do and to be for Him, and not to try to hide from our purpose.

This really spoke to me.  Now, my girls will tell you that I cannot dance - I have no rhythm and no desire to even try.  However, in times of worship, I have felt like dancing, but only because I imagined I was dancing with Jesus.  This word which was shared today reminded me of a very vivid dream I had years ago.  I was in a room all by myself.  I could hear beautiful music, so I began to dance, as no one was there to watch me.  As the music flowed, so did my dancing - I was dancing for Jesus, and I felt loved in His Presence.  A little girl came into the room and just stood and watched me dancing.  She smiled and said how beautiful my dance was.  Instead of feeling awkward, I felt fulfilled and happy.  I woke up with a real sense of purpose and belonging.

The word today was a confirmation of what God has been speaking into my heart over the last few weeks - that He is restoring me for the purpose for which He has created me.  He is instilling in me a freedom and a joy and peace that I have rarely known before.  Whether I can physically dance or not, my spirit is filled with God's Spirit, and I can move with Him and share His beauty and light, through my words, my actions and my love.





While sharing this with you who are reading, I am praying for you, that you, too, will seek to deepen your relationship with the Father.  Listen for His voice and feel His love.

New Season

Well, I'm finally beginning something I've wanted to do for a very long time.  Since this is a new season in my life, it seems right to be writing a blog now.

Although I've always believed I had the talent to be a writer and the dream to become an author, my offerings have been few over the years.  School English classes were heaven to me and I loved writing assignments.  It wasn't as hard to start as it was to stop!  Word count limits were my only stopping point, thankfully for the teachers.  I know the bonus of good grades on my compositions were the encouragement I needed to keep on writing, but when I wrote it felt like I couldn't NOT write.  It was something I had to do, because it was such a real part of who I was.  I found real joy in writing.

It wasn't so much the ability to express my thoughts and feelings, as it was the fun of the words, giving readers the pictures of what I was saying.  I loved letters, words, sentences, even punctuation!  (Exclamation points are my favourite!!!)

Once school days were behind me, my choices in life meant that my work wasn't with words.  I dabbled in my spare time with letters to editors and magazine articles, poems in cards to family and friends, but nothing serious.  Later years brought opportunities to physically work with words as a typesetter, then as an editorial assistant on a magazine.  I did have opportunities to write articles and reviews, as well as doing some editing and lots of proofreading.  However, the elusive 'book' was just that - elusive.

I didn't realise it during those years, but all of the experiences of life were formulating into material for this time when I can now begin 'serious' writing.  Is blogging serious?  Yes, I believe it is - I have been inspired and helped and encouraged and moved by the blogs of people I now count as friends, even though I don't know all of them personally.  To be able to touch someone emotionally, mentally, spiritually through what is written is a real gift - so, yes, blogging is serious writing.

Why call myself 'Ready Writer'?  It comes from Psalm 45:1, which says, ". . . my tongue is the pen of a ready writer."  Nothing encourages me more to write than the Word of God.  If what I read and what I hear preached and taught from the Bible causes me to speak and write in order to share it with as many people as I can, then I am indeed a 'Ready Writer'!  My daily walk with Jesus is filled with words: prayers, thoughts, reading, listening to God.  All of these words can be shared, simply to encourage those who may read them to also pray, think, read, listen for themselves, so that they, too, can rejoice in their relationship with the Word Himself - Jesus.

I may not have a handle yet on the working of blog layouts, photos, etc., but I will gradually learn how to make this blog more eye-appealing.  However, for now, I just have to get the WORDS out there, and in doing that, share THE WORD, JESUS, with you who read this.  He is the reason I write, and I write for His glory, not my own.  This is my prayer, that those who read will also share, so that more and more will come to know Him, Who to know is eternal life!

BarbieJ